my belly moves independently of my body

so my belly moved today completely independent of the rest of me... i guess that happens when you are 5 1/2mo pregnant... it just surprised me i have moments that i think i can't possibly get any bigger and i am ready to get the show on the road and then i think i can't believe i am really pregnant and still expect to wake up any time from the most bizarre dream ever... maybe when i wake up i will have dreamed the cellulite on the back of my thighs too.

a prayer to a love greater than mine...

My heart is stretched 

looking at the days ahead

not that you have asked us to go here... 

you haven't asked anything thing of us 

so i'm just guessing with the best intentions and figuring

the narrow plank is what's required of my heart

so please take our hands 

give us strength 

as you have given us love.

i swallow hard and hope you will show up

my trust is weak yet i will jump

you are all we have 

we give ourselves and eachother to you 

i have known you as harsh 

i am finding you as kind 

so here i am

amen 

 

Chase has decided to pimp his head... beach style.

well done bud

it takes a man to sport the white hat 

this is Liv with her snails.

need i say more...

ahh the smile of a proud mama

these are Liv's snails.

this is Liv.

i think that fortunes are best recieved on a big pregnant belly, wouldn't you agree.

chase said where am i?

here he is... journaling away... at the edge of the ocean. it is cold and windy and the waves are crashing in front of him yet his inspiration is unwavering... :) we went to this great little town that was so beautiful and artistic and a gateway to a creative mind like his.

i have scratched the surface and i'm bleeding

i have mounted an attack and lost sight of my enemy

i have launched a recovery mission out to sea and found it was me

 that washed away

i am out of words until it rains and we are here nor there in a year

Oh Hell consumed me and i live amongst the flames

Hope, i'm sure has seen me

but to take her hand i must lose and leave and believe she wanted me

Oh tangled weeds that wrap and strangle me, bare seeds of flowers instead so that as this 

 body falls to dust whats to come is beauty not ruin and unrest.

I found this writing this morning...i am not really in this place so full of despair it is so good to look back on something i wrote and see life has changed my heart took a direction even though circumstances haven't changed totally my heart has....i took the hand of hope and she does want me. today i am taking a deeper breath

there are few things more beautiful to me than see shells and really flowers rank up there just as high....the rest of you know who you are :)

we collected sea shells at the cloudy cold beach the first day we arrived

where it fell it laid... 

i was sad to have wasted a totally perfect cherry but it made a beautiful picture:)

really i just love the contrast... contrast always catches my eye it is a reminder of balanced reality. 

cold clouds

it is colder and cloudier than i expected california to be...